paragraph writing

Hi today in science we have been doing work about paragraph writing.
miss birtch taught us to use a very short sentence, adverb start, w-start.
the w-start is where, when, while and whilst. this is my story
The clock ticked. He was lying down in bed waiting. The cool breeze flowing in the room he was hiding under his blanket. His parents are asleep. While he knew he did the wrong thing to eat thecookies on the shelf. Quietly, he ate them as he knew his brother was asleep next to him. Nervously he got out of his bed and his brother caught him. He asked what he was doing but he knew the crumbs gave him away but he said he needed to go to the toilet. When he finished he flushed the toilet and returned the rest of the cookies to the jar wishing he did not do what he did.